8:50 p.m. — Been watching the pre-show, which has had Jersey Shore spliced in. MTV knows that its junkies need their fix. Two awards were announced.
Best Dance Video: Lady Gaga “Bad Romance”
Best Collaboration: Lady Gaga ft. Beyonce “Telephone”
All ready looks like Gaga’s night. In other news, Nicki Minaj performed on the red white carpet. She could’ve done the main stage justice, though “Your Love” doesn’t suit her live. The other song she performed is a tad bit annoying. Will. i. am appears to have been dipped in dark chocolate for the festivities tonight. If Ke$ha needs to mop up her Jack Daniels dinner, she can nibble on one of his limbs. Her dress is made out of garbage bags and she arrived in a Deloreon.
8:56 p.m. — Lady Gaga does her reputation right looking like a peacock. It’s from Alexander Mcqueen’s last selection. Pre-show completed, let’s get to the good stuff.
9:00 p.m. — Eminem opens with “Not Afraid” with an 8 Mile style backdrop. It was really backstage, walks out to main stage for chorus bridge, and second verse. Huge band behind him. Simple performance, just Em and the music. Rihanna pops up with a red wig. Guess she could make it after all. Easy segue way into “Love the Way You Lie” They end with a back to back pose kinda like Jay and Alcia last year except, Lil Mama stayed in her high chair this time.
Opening clip has Handler in a bathrobe, being greeted by rappers and Lindsey Lohan. Her costume is a LG gag, a house for a hat. So far the live stuff is a little clunky. Ok, now she’s got a mic and a cocktail dress, a little more in line. First female host she says. Monologue isn’t the best, she’s batting maybe .200, maybe.
The bit about Kanye and defending yourself sucked. Rick Ross on a Wal-Mart shopping scooter is great, however.
Ellen DeGeneres presents Best Female Video
Best Female Video: Lady Gaga “Bad Romance”
Wow, I predicted a strong showing, but maybe she just clean sweeps it all. And then she can wear a dress made out of brooms and literally sweep the stage after she accepts.
This is my first live blog with Twitter, and my go-to site RapRadar has up to the minute video updates from he show. Amazing how reporting has changed.
9:24 p.m. — “Jackass 3D” looks as great as MTV wants us to think.
Best Rock Video: 30 Seconds to Mars “Kings and Queens”
Loved the quick camera work as Chris Pontius ripped his pants off. MTV is all hands on decks tonight, huh?
Kim Kardashian introducing JBiebs, his performance will make VMA history… or so she says. He’s outside the Nokia Theater, where the crowd of fans is trying hard to break the sound barrier. He begins by lip-syncing “Baby,” then “Somebody to Love.” Little guy just lost some stock in my book, which is a blog, that has nothing to do with stocks. Let me know when the historic shit gets started. Oh, wait, now he’s playing drums. This is it, right? Must be, cause now the things over. We’re 30 into this bad boy and so far it’s been lackluster.
9: 37 p.m. — Ke$ha and Trey Songz introduce Usher. You know Trey is like “get me away from this grimy ho.” lol
Ush is gonna kill it. No lip-syncing, learn young grasshopper. “DJ Got Us Falling in Love Again” right into “OMG” with some dancing peppered in. Was let down with the moves until the glides, that was dope. It ends up being one big dance number. Not a bad route, but the jaw has remained clear of the floor thus far.
Katy Perry’s dress looks like she’s being attacked by some sci-fi bacteria monster.
Best Male Video: Eminem “Not Afraid”
Em had to leave after his performance to get to New York for his Yankee Stadium show with Jay-Z. I’m missing it because of this impromptu life relocation. Could be something I never get over. There will be other concerts (I keep telling myself). But none as epic as this (I keep coming back to).
9:52 p.m. — The New Artist brunch bits are pretty ok. I’m settling for concessions.
Jared Leto flubs his two lines while introducing Florence + The Machine. It’s a good thing he quit his day job.
This performance is the most intriguing thus far. Hey go figure that Usher, it’s easier to sing when you just stand still. Potential show-stealing moment right there. Hey, Travie Mccoy is rapping some “I Wanna Be a Billionaire” for us. Thanks Travie, I’m glad i could hear you gimick one more time.
10:03 p.m. — Handler uses same ball-stapling intro for “Glee” as she did the Jackass guys. Jane Lynch says Kay-Sha. Yes. Love Jane Lynch 100x more now.
Best Pop Video: Lady Gaga “Bad Romance”
She is wearing a dress that requires assistance from 2 people to get up the stairs. I’m frightened by her outbursts, and head gear — it could impale a rhinoceros.
Taylor Swift performance preceded with video reminder of Kanye crashing last years award. She’s performing a new song, could it be the one Yeezy wrote for her? About himself? That would be backhanded egotism at its finest.
Everyone is thinking the same thing right now: Will Kanye come out? Funny how he sort of haunts this performance, too. “32 and still growing up” didn’t he tweet something like that earlier? Will do some research.
Done. Close but not quite.
10:20 p.m. — Drake performance – “Fancy.” Mary J. could shut it down right now, be warned. Drake said this performance was inspired by The Rat Pack. Those first four bars may be my favorite of the song. Kinda weirded out that Drizzys rapping just to Mary. Seems like it’s more her performance than his.
Cast members from True Blood set-up “professional awards.” I like the irony that if you’re watching this live, you’re not watching HBO’s night of finales. I’m hoping to be able to catch it on DVR after this.
10:33 p.m. –– Jersey Shore cast in a hot tub on stage. Chelsea gets in with them. Situation only got one “situation” out, I thought his quota was higher than that.
Best Hip-Hop Video — Eminem “Not Afraid”
Wait, he squeaks in another. Good work Mike.
10:41 p.m. — Selena Gomez and Ne-Yo: I know far more about Selena Gomez than I would admit. It’s because of my 9-year-old cousin. Stop looking at me like that.
By the looks of his hair style, Bruno Mars is trying to be the male Janelle Monae. Hayley Williams looks to be singing into a carrot, and has now just hi-jacked the performance from B.o.B.
10:53 p.m. — Best New Artist: Justin Bieber “Baby”
Put the pitchforks down pre-pubescent gang of girls, he won.
Linkin Park represent the rockers tonight. I’m sure rockers everywhere are shaking with joy.
The show is really lacking any punch this year. It’s winding down, only one more award and one more performance left. Here’s to hoping.
11:04 p.m. — Chelsea Handler gets a few more Kanye shots in before the clock officially expires on being able to do so. Cher is wearing something and saying something that neither make sense nor justifies her being out here.
Video of the Year — Lady Gaga
“Bad Romance” is playing so I’m assuming that won it for her, but who really knows. Who really cares?
Her latest dress is made of meat. She’s in near tears. Her new album will be named “Born This Way.” She starts singing some of it. Bizarre, surreal, 100 adjectives.
Aziz Ansari introducing Kanye. He’s performing a new song, “Runaway.”
All red suit, black and white everything else. Pusha T comes out to spit. The beat is typical Kanye, in that it’s got me mesmerized instantly.
Wow. Kanye just did his thing and did exactly what he had to do. Prove to everyone that he’s accepting humility and that he’s still a musician/artist in a class of his own.
It’s been a long night, and a pretty disappointing VMAs. It’s like MTV knew this would be Gaga’s night and did everything in their power to prevent anyone from interfering.
Are we ready to forgive Kanye now? That’s the real question. Oh, and who will be replacing Chelsea Handler next year.
Update: Got 3 right. Best Pop Video, Best New Artist, and Best Male Video.