Slash Happy

There isn’t really anything to say about “Machete” that you can’t a) read from a two sentence review b) infer from the cast and director or c) blindly guess solely upon seeing the poster. It is a fanatical portrayal of all things sex, gore, and tacky. It was born out of the “Grindhouse” faux-trailer, and continues the 2-part movie’s ode to B-rate production. The excessive violence, wonderfully cliche (at times) soundtrack, and a few shocking/hilarious moments make “Machete” everything that “The Expendables” was supposed to be. By embracing the vulgarity, the cheese, the sheer spectacle of fun-through-mayhem, “Machete” quickly becomes the most fun film I’ve seen in a while. Director Robert Rodriguez can pump this movie out in his sleep. Just look at his track record (“Desperado,” “Sin City”). The visuals speak for themselves, but the screenplay is equally absurd. Glorious one-liners spoken out of oh-so-easy-to-watch actors mouths are a joy, and the man himself, Danny Trejo, does little to no speaking. Jessica Alba, Lindsey Lohan, and Michelle Rodriguez are the all holy trinity of beauties, and Robert DeNiro and Steven Seagal provide enough splendor to balance the equation. “Machete” ends up being far more enjoyable than the “Grindhouse” movies that first spawned the idea. It’s faster paced, loaded with more star power, and tongue in cheek enough to mix topical plot lines with full throtle over the top-ness.

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